My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i think my cat just said my name.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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