she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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