So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
