Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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