I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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