So drunk, too bad you don't want this
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
