i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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