im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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