Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it was like eating out sand paper
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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