I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
