Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
