3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
