you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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