i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
