dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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