we should wear snuggies to the strip club
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
