i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
