You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
