He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ladies don't puke and tell
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
