I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
