your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
