pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
do herpes really smell.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
