You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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