I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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