proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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