Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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