This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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