NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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