You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
