Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
