already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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