Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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