just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
