if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm at about main and main street
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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