Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
