big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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