Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
someone owes me an orgasm
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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