am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
