did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
porn star boner night. come get it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
