I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
