Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
