PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
