Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
