too bad you live with your parents still
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
