Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
