just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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