So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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