So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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