Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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