i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
